Thursday, April 23, 2009

While Working Out.. Avoid the Following

1) Farting while you run. I know it's hard to avoid and I know everyone is listening to music anyway but it's sooooo unfortunately disgusting, passively aggressive in its confrontational ways and and unfortunately a reality you must cease to end!

2) Body odor... an aroma of herbs most notably onion, garlic and gross with a sniff of dirty towels and unmistakenbly atrocious and breathtaking (in the bad way).

3) Prancing around naked in the locker room. I know it's not a big deal to YOU but standing there and talking about your fake breasts and commenting that you might have gotten them too big and then suggesting others feel them to see how real they are (no win here because they were sooo big, fake and high) is not okay. Standing there and blowdrying your hair with your boobs hanging out.. also not okay..at least put on a bra. Having full on conversations naked with your bush staring me in the eye.. also not okay. I know people are naked in locker rooms.. that should be for a brief second.. not for the entire duration of your primping.

4) Filling in your water bottle while others are in line. I learned this one the hard way. As I stood there filling up my huge water bottle, a big SIGH came from the girl in back of me who pivoted and went towards the other water fountain. I pondered about the situation for a moment... realizing, I should have been the bigger and more generous person, stepped back, and allowed her to take a sip before proceeding to fill my bottle. A simple act of kindness... a large impact of gratitude and generosity could have occurred had I not been mindless and unthoughtful.

5) Picking your wedgie while you work out. Mellvilleeeees are annoying when you're working out and who cares if anyone sees me ... errrr sorta. Because on the flip side, I crack up when I see it. Pick good underwear, no underwear or go into the locker room (where based on #3 plethora of inappropriateness is already occurring) and pick your wedgie there!

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